I was about to say bye to my son, at the doorstep of his school, when a sound of crying caught my attention. It was a pre-nursery child – and he was weeping inconsolably. Pre-nursery children do have a hard time settling down to school. This boy had come in a pool car and he kept crying for ‘mummy.’ I glanced at the school maids trying to pacify him but he wouldn’t stop. I don’t know why – I do like children and when they cry something tugs at my heart especially when they cry for a parent – and I extended my hand towards him to console him but he grabbed hold of my hands and wouldn’t let go. Maybe he found some similarity with his mom or maybe read the empathy in my heart in a way only children can do and he wouldn’t let go.
My son being the practical 5 year old that he is, led the way – a little bemused at the boy’s crying. Inside, the boy refused to go to his class with his teachers – he kept clinging to me till I dropped him inside his class.
The incident just makes me believe more in all the decisions that I have taken for my son and myself. Ever since I became a freelancer 5 years back – there has been moments when I have questioned myself – so many women go back to work after having kids – why can’t I?
But, I just couldn’t! I wanted to be there with my son because having had a working mother myself I know the loneliness that bug a child. I had a sister, even then after my mother left, I would lie for hours with her discarded clothes – my only comforter.
I know when women go back to work – they do so with a heavy heart – most professions do not have the option of freelancing. And unlike the west, in India organizations do not provide flexi-hours or job-sharing (a boon for mothers) opportunities. In most cases, neither the mother is happy nor the child. Today, the little boy for some reason was missing his mother terribly – maybe he was not feeling well or just like that – there is never a reason for missing someone after all.
Although I do not think it is possible – but some mothers are very practical with their children. A friend of mine went on a Europe tour with her husband for 3 months – leaving her 3 year old son in the care of her mother. And the poor child used to hide under the wardrobe and pretend to be speaking to his mother.
There are always two sides to an argument and maybe having a mother around at all times makes a child too dependant. I work for 8-10 hours a day (working from home is not the easy pie it’s made out to be!) and I am often too busy to play or watch television with him but at least he sees me around – he sees me working and I hope he feels secure in the knowledge that I am around.
Being a mother is a hard task - there is always a risk of not getting it right despite the right efforts. As they say - a mother can never get it right! If you are a mother or a daughter, share your experiences with me. I would love to hear from you.
Being a mother
A mother's life is often a bug's life. Most often than not she can never get it right.
Delhidva
July 19, 2010
I was about to say bye to my son, at the doorstep of his school, when a sound of crying caught my attention. It was a pre-nursery child – and he was weeping inconsolably. Pre-nursery children do have a hard time settling down to school. This boy had come in a pool car and he kept crying for ‘mummy.’ I glanced at the school maids trying to pacify him but he wouldn’t stop. I don’t know why – I do like children and when they cry something tugs at my heart especially when they cry for a parent – and I extended my hand towards him to console him but he grabbed hold of my hands and wouldn’t let go. Maybe he found some similarity with his mom or maybe read the empathy in my heart in a way only children can do and he wouldn’t let go.
My son being the practical 5 year old that he is, led the way – a little bemused at the boy’s crying. Inside, the boy refused to go to his class with his teachers – he kept clinging to me till I dropped him inside his class.
The incident just makes me believe more in all the decisions that I have taken for my son and myself. Ever since I became a freelancer 5 years back – there has been moments when I have questioned myself – so many women go back to work after having kids – why can’t I?
But, I just couldn’t! I wanted to be there with my son because having had a working mother myself I know the loneliness that bug a child. I had a sister, even then after my mother left, I would lie for hours with her discarded clothes – my only comforter.
I know when women go back to work – they do so with a heavy heart – most professions do not have the option of freelancing. And unlike the west, in India organizations do not provide flexi-hours or job-sharing (a boon for mothers) opportunities. In most cases, neither the mother is happy nor the child. Today, the little boy for some reason was missing his mother terribly – maybe he was not feeling well or just like that – there is never a reason for missing someone after all.
Although I do not think it is possible – but some mothers are very practical with their children. A friend of mine went on a Europe tour with her husband for 3 months – leaving her 3 year old son in the care of her mother. And the poor child used to hide under the wardrobe and pretend to be speaking to his mother.
There are always two sides to an argument and maybe having a mother around at all times makes a child too dependant. I work for 8-10 hours a day (working from home is not the easy pie it’s made out to be!) and I am often too busy to play or watch television with him but at least he sees me around – he sees me working and I hope he feels secure in the knowledge that I am around.
Being a mother is a hard task - there is always a risk of not getting it right despite the right efforts. As they say - a mother can never get it right! If you are a mother or a daughter, share your experiences with me. I would love to hear from you.
http://delhidva.com
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