Lesbian marriages in India

Lesbian marriages in India
When women fall in love...

Rashmi Drolia
July 01, 2010

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"I am a writer who happens to love women. I am not a lesbian who happens to write" - Jeanette Winterson

Well this is not another article on gays, lesbians, homosexuality or a discussion on whether the antique culture is right or wrong. Nor is it a sympathetically encouraging way towards their support, even not an unsympathetic dispiriting step to withdraw the minimum espousal that they get. This time it’s just the unspecific them, not predominantly engaged in a show off venture or getting high on life with vodka and hukkas but fondly in love with each other to make you wonder if you could ever love anyone like that.

Suchitra and Triveni were inseparable school mates since primary classes. By the time they stepped into teens, they realised an unusual bonding with each other that isn’t commonly seen between two girls. It wasn’t hidden from their parents either. Sensing something sinister could soon happen to slur their reputation, they separated the lovers.

“We have to ignore what people think and remark on seeing us. We know they make fun of us, we also know they would never understand our feelings,” Suchitra said accompanied by ‘her wife’ Triveni whom she had recently married. Meeting them was a realisation that not all the homosexuals move in a sheep’s walk, not all of them behave insanely and not all of them were homo just because it is considered as an ‘in’ thing or a piñata.

Observing them for long, I discovered a difference between them in terms of attire, behaviour and domination. Where Suchitra was very much girly, dreamy and chirpy Triveni at the same time was in male attire with an aura of accountability. “I am the husband and go to the fields to work,” when Triveni said this I was taken aback!

‘Husband’? I thought.

Suchitra then took the chance to explain, “Though we both are females but we behave and live just like other normal couples, a husband and wife. She is simply as responsible and secure as a male husband and I cook food and look after the home. And by God’s grace we are together again after years of stigma and isolation, it hadn’t been easy for us,” she wiped a tear smilingly.

After Suchitra and Triveni were separated, they were sent to different schools and soon married off. 

“It was like shedding a childhood looking for the other person. I managed to get her contact address through a cousin and sent her a letter to check her state of mind. We both discovered that though we had been with our husbands for two years but couldn’t forget each other and dared to elope,” shared Suchitra without a wrinkle of regret. “I even had a baby boy from my last marriage, I miss him” she faltered with eyes looking towards infinity.

“We are in fact planning to adopt a baby soon as it’s already been two and a half years that we are together,” chirped in Triveni whose sudden change of expression of a jagged husband turned consoling towards ‘her wife’.

Though there aren’t many couples like Suchitra and Triveni who love each other unconditionally to marry but there aren’t less either!

Like Sujata and Bala, who work in a multinational company. “There is not much difference amongst us and those whom you call ‘normal couples’ except for the same gender. In fact we care for each other more because of a long lasting belongingness between us since our childhood,” snapped Sujata when asked about their feelings being out with other ‘normal couples’.