Women, Relationships and Happyness!

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No matter how much we all try one thing we can never spare ourselves with…’Relationships’. They are important, infact they are extremely important. Ask yourself can you live without any one of your vital relationship…answer would definitely be no. Taking a rather anti-feminine approach I would here say men are intelligent creatures in terms of tackling their relationships and women are way too vulnerable we surely are. I am vulnerable, you are vulnerable…we all are. Yes why not accept it we are. The worst and the unacceptable part is it is our ‘self-imposed vulnerability’. We are open to all hurts, cries and so on because we ‘willingly’ make ourselves open and welcoming to all this and I assure you here I am not talking about all of us but some lot among us.

Have you ever wonder why? Why do we accept all the hurts imposed on us? Why do we ignore all the wrong things visible clearly to our senses? Why do we care so much about our relationships that we willingly become vulnerable and naïve just to save them? Why do we pretend to be deaf and dumb when it comes to saving our dearest relationships? Why do we pretend to be very ‘I don’t care types’ when actually we belong to the other type ‘yes I do care’? And why do we actually pretend so much? Strange…but true isn’t it? We surely don’t have answers because we all do it. Yes we do, we fake, we pretend, we act naïve, run our relationships and we buy happiness for ourselves.

And why do we do it? Out of all the myriad reasons we all must be having depending on our circumstances and life, one reason I feel and believe is that we are scared. Scared of facing the truth that we know can ruin our otherwise ‘happy-go-lucky’ relationship, scared of confronting our loved ones, scared of speaking our minds. So we are scared, scared and hell scared! And so we keep our actual sensible mind in close inside of inside shell making it visible to no one and what we present is a rather vulnerable and naïve self saying ‘WOW! My life is so fairytale like…perfect…flawless and I am the most innocent creature on this earth, catch me I am a very easy victim, hurt me I am all ready and used to it’. It is sounding ridiculous but I would say try and accept it because it’s the undeniable truth. I don’t know how many of you would agree with me on this, I know and hope most of you our strong and definitely do not match the above given description but I accept that I am like that and I know lot of them around me who are like that.I think everything is fairytale like, very filmy, very over- the- top perfect, people I love the most, love me back with the same or even more fervor, I believe that if I trust a person that person is definitely worth being trusted and not in the least do I ever think in the corner of my mind that my thinking can also be wrong. I have a very emotional, sentimental and a blindfolded approach to my relationships, especially to my most special relationship. I choose to be inside my self-imposed vulnerability because of obvious reason I am so damn scared of losing my happiness. But sometimes I think what is the point of buying this happiness and living happily ever after when you know that you are making a fool of yourself and that you know all the truth whatsoever and you can confront, find satisfaction and peace of mind. And guess what I know all this but I don’t do anything because I don’t want to ruin my so-called happiness and I end up accepting everything and arguing inside. Don’t know why but I do. Have you ever played that very interesting ‘Loves Me, Loves Me Not Game’ in your childhood with leafs? Of course you we all have definitely played it. I still remember if the last leaf used to end up saying ‘he loves me not’ I used to do cheating with myself and used to break that one last leaf into two halves so that I can bring it to ‘he loves me’. That was very innocent cheating but don’t you think so we still do it? I know I still do that when my mind and heart says that what I am thinking can break or ruin my happiness I mould it in a way that I become happy again. It’s a cheating I do with my mind Just in order to save my happiness. Call it my fear or anything but it’s the truth. It is hard for me to accept that things can go wrong, my thinking, perceptions can also go wrong and I prefer to keep silence.

Anasuya Sengupta, a senior at the Lady Sri Ram College very rightly said in a poem called ‘Silence’, “In too many countries, too many women speak the same language of—silence," Sad it is but very true. Sometimes, I wonder. When a woman gives her love, as most do, generously, it is accepted. But when a woman shares her thoughts, as some women do, it is so not accepted. I think the lines rightly expressed the feelings that all of us share, that women's voices should be heard and that silence is not appropriate for women in their own lives, and women in the larger world.

Famous lines from serenity by Goldsmack, says, “Where do we go when we just don’t know and how do we relight the flame when it’s cold. Why do we dream when our thoughts mean nothing and when will we learn to control,” isn’t it making so much sense? We women need serenity, serenity in our relationships, in our lives…then only I feel we can actually show our true self. Truth is we actually don’t know how to be transparent or should I say we know but we never are. We keep ourselves beneath zillions of covers so that ‘that important person’ in our lives doesn’t get to see or hear what our actual feelings or opinions are. This is however deceitful what we do to ourselves and to that person, but we do to save our relationship and happiness we get being in that relationship and we keep silence. Silence, silence and silence…and does it makes us happy? Actually no it makes us even worse not in the least happy.

It goes without saying that we all want to be happy and satisfied in our relationships but we tend to ignore that our biggest quality can also end up someday in becoming our biggest fault. If we are good or excellent listeners we ought to be good speakers as well. We must build our relationships in such a way that we are not at all hesitant to share what we feel, what we think most importantly. Silence is perfect when the person you love is able to hear that. Doesn’t it make sense? Yes I believe silence is very powerful but when it comes to speaking your mind…one needs to be more vocal. We must know that the people we are in relationship with are not mind readers they our normal human beings. We ought to tell them what we feel and then only we can find satisfaction. Because the otherwise bought happiness doesn’t and would definitely not last for long. You would eventually end up making compromises with yourself and sooner or later that bought happiness would fade.

Lately, I have made a change in myself. I have decided to speak my mind always, especially, to the most important person in my life. Go ahead and try and do that today. Let me tell you I was scared, very scared…but I thought why argue inside when there is a person out there who can actually answer all your questions and you both can be happy. Always remember, your relationship is living because you are in it. You play an important part. Without you there can be no love, no care and definitely no Happiness. So be Vocal, confident because it’s the thought that talk. You speak what you think and if you don’t speak what you think…then there is something wrong and you are faking it all. So from today, think and speak your mind and then get and accept what you deserve really. Happiness for sure don’t you worry; because I believe when you don’t fake and be yourself you get what you truly deserve…love in most pure form from all your relationships.


Be happy and contented always!


P.S. Yes I accept it that major part of this above account was a mockery on women and their way of life, but it was important because it’s the truth.